New Words for Old Issues

One of my many weaknesses is the habit of creating new words needed for compensation discussions.  The standard of acceptability is that they must be so clearly self-defining that listeners instantly recognize the meaning.  Further elaboration is usually unnecessary for a good memorable phrase that summarizes complex dynamics in short terms.
 
Binky-survey:  the particular long-familiar survey that supplies an irreplaceable sense of comfort, satisfaction and continuity to critical decision-makers.  It may be the least reliable of the (traditionally 3) sources you analyze for consensus results, but its absence activates anxiety while its presence produces peace of mind.
 
Blemish-hunt:  the process of seeking one flaw (hmmm… would flaw-hunt be better?), no matter how miniscule, as a pretext to reject something you don’t want to accept.  An activity prompted by an aversion reaction to an unacceptable report, enabled by a rationalization that will inevitably triumphantly declare, “Obviously, it is not perfect; and if there is one mistake, Gawd knows how many OTHERs there are.”  Beloved of trial attorneys preparing cross-examinations to impeach the testimony of hostile witnesses but also popular among managers confronted with reports containing uncomfortable facts.
 
Move-raise:  quitting, to perform your same job elsewhere where the money is better.  Often greatly appreciated by the abandoned department which now has compelling actual proof to support its arguments for higher pay.
 
Foot-promotion:  abandoning your employer for another offering the conventional politically correct excuse for resignation, “A bigger title with more pay and greater opportunity for advancement.”  (N.B., pay alone is sufficient excuse to support a mutually acceptable departure justifying a glowing or at least non-damning letter of reference, because then the abandoned boss can use your declared reason for personal benefit.)
 
Compensation by Consanguinity:  Pay determined by degree of blood relationship.  First defined in a report on Reasonable Compensation at a Kentucky family-controlled regular corporation where all profits were distributed as tax-deductible bonuses disbursed to members of the controlling shareholder’s family in direct relationship to their blood or marital relationship. (Don’t worry… they ended up repaying Taxpayers for the excess amounts siphoned off as untaxed disguised dividends.)
 
Weasel-wordy:  Filled with carefully chosen modifiers which practically negate the claim that is being made.  Intentionally deceptive and disingenuous clever double-talk, where every precise phrase must be parsed to expose the absence of the implied meaning. Derived from “weasel words,” an old phrase describing words that suck the meaning out of the words around them. 
 
Lazy-speak:  Sloppy superficial terminology; inadequate thought given to the words chosen for the intended terms or desired concepts.  Using precise terms inappropriately.  Done often enough, it will erode meaning, like the way “decimate” has morphed from meaning select by lot and kill one-tenth (a disciplinary practice of the Roman legions to deal with units that fled in the face of the enemy) to totally destroy  Conventional wisdom (rarely truly either) has expanded the term to mean drastically reduce in numbers, and it is now also frequently used to mean utterly wipe out.  A much more dangerous example is when folks who should know better refer to The Cost of Living when they really mean annual payroll increase projections dealing with the rate of change in the open competitive market prices for labor.
 
Rotten equity:  Delivering fair or equitable treatment so late and obviously unwillingly that any positive motivational opportunity has been spoiled and converted into negative resentment by the recipient.  A rotten hiring bonus is paid six months after hire; a rotten relocation expense reimbursement is made a year after you took out a loan to pay your overdue moving bill supposedly covered by your employer.
 
What are your favorite self-created tradecraft terms?

E. James (Jim) Brennan is Senior Associate of ERI Economic Research Institute, the premier publisher of interactive pay and living-cost surveys. Semi-retired after over 40 years in HR corporate and consulting roles throughout the U.S. and Canada, he’s pretty much been there done that  (articles, books, speeches, seminars, radio/TV, advisory posts, in-trial expert witness stuff, etc.) and will express his opinion on almost anything.

Image: Creative Commons Photo "So Many Words" by dps

Comments

[Laura Schroeder]

My personal favorite is 'Compensation by Consanguinity.'

[Dan Walter]

LOVE THIS. Thanks for a great start to the week.

[Windsor Lewis]

This was a great post, thanks!

[E James (Jim) Brennan]

One clear phrase that never gets old is "positive feedback." Thanks, to all.