In the beginning was the incentive plan.
Its construction was akin to other plans in prevailing fashion.
And then came the doubts and assumptions.
And the doubts and assumptions were without form.
And the incentive plan was without meaningful substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the employees.
And they spoke among themselves saying,
“It stinketh. It will worketh not. We must reveal this to management.”
And the employees went unto their managers and said,
“This plan is a pile of dung and we know it will worketh not.”
And the managers went unto their managers and said,
“It is a pail of manure and the smell is very strong, such that none can abide it.”
And the managers spoke among themselves saying,
“This is not a good report and our directors will liketh not to hear it. We should provideth our directors with a more tolerable tale.”
And they went unto their directors, saying,
“It is a vessel of fertilizer and none can abideth its strength.”
And the directors spoke among themselves, saying to one another,
“It containeth that which aids growth and is very strong.”
And the directors went unto the vice presidents, saying unto them,
“It promotes growth and is very powerful.”
And the vice presidents went unto the president, saying unto him,
“The new plan will promote the growth and vigor of the company with powerful effects.”
And the president looked upon the incentive plan and saw that it was good.
And the plan became policy.
_______________________________
While this may be an amusing tale, there is a kernel of truth here. Good leaders are hungry for information to truly understand how to make their companies and employees more successful. But unfortunately unpleasant news can get filtered as it goes up the leadership chain.
Here’s the disconnect. Employees know their jobs better than anyone in the company. They understand what works and doesn’t work. Managers should know that too. They should also understand what motivates their employees. All of that information should be passed to Compensation who develops the plan. And Compensation should focus on this input instead of relying on what other companies are doing.
Do you agreeth?
Jacque Vilet, President of Vilet International, has over 25 years’ experience in Human Resources. In her current role she works with start-ups and multinationals on both domestic and international HR issues. Jacque has an M.S. in Psychology and an MBA from Southern Methodist University. She speaks at conferences in the U.S. and overseas, contributes to various HR and talent management publications and conducts frequent webinars.
THIS is 'SUPERETH!!!!' It makes the score "Humor 100 and copying what others do zero". "Stinketh" is the ideal word for organizations that blindly follow 'competitive practice'. But your GREAT writing and humor trumps it all. (Yikes, I am not implying that your got your writing training at Trump University).
The words 'Best Practice' are often used to give credibility for ignoring the realities of what is going on in your organization with your goals and talent and copying whatever the 'average' practice might be. It is easy, but wrong, to CYA by saying, "We participate in the annual survey conducted by 'Ugabooboo' and it suggests that a workforce that wears straw hats outperforms one wearing flowers in their nose so that is what we are going to do.
Posted by: Jay Schuster | 03/07/2016 at 10:12 AM
This poetic version of the Mushroom School of Management's prime principles was very nicely stated. Shoulds rarely survive to become goods, I'm sorry to say.
Posted by: E. James (Jim) Brennan | 03/07/2016 at 01:40 PM
This was such fun to write.
As to your "Ugabooboo" survey results cited above --- here is an example of "correlation" passed off as "causation" according to a 2001 Towers Watson survey of more than 400 companies:
"There is a clear relationship between the effectiveness of a company’s human capital and shareholder value creation. This relationship we found is so clear that a significant improvement in 30 key HR practices is associated with a 30 percent increase in market value."
And here is one that we all need to watch out for:
"Number of people who died by getting tangled up in their bedsheets is correlated with total revenues generated by skiing facilities."
So much for "best practices".
Posted by: Jacque Vilet | 03/07/2016 at 03:45 PM
This is great!
Posted by: Dan Walter | 03/08/2016 at 01:04 AM
Very well done, Jacque. A thoughtful, fun read that made a powerful point. Your creative juices were really flowing.
Posted by: Chuck Csizmar | 03/10/2016 at 08:14 AM
Thanks Chuck. Maybe I ought to visit Colorado more often! Just kidding!
Posted by: Jacque Vilet | 03/10/2016 at 09:24 AM