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interesting line of thought. like to see some research. some women i have known spend a lot of time with mom on the phone and with their kids' after school activities. perhaps you are repeating stereotypes? most women would deny the trait exists to seem more like men? thought provoking point. thanks for posting.

Dr. Elgin cited her academic research coupled with decades as a labor relations mediator, typically between female-dominated occupations like nurses and teachers confronting male senior managements. My last link embedded in "Am I right" showed more published research. My personal observations were primarily of workplace behaviors rather than telephone mom-chats and kid extracurricular activities.

Female comments are more relevant than anything a guy could say, anyway.

I always enjoy your thought-provoking posts Jim. I am a woman and couldn't agree more. I feel like my list is never done (at home and at work). As soon as I've finished one task, I noticed several other things that need "fixing" and get to work, even though nobody asked or expected it. I think your advice is sound for women reporting to men, but what about overcommitted women reporting to other overcommitted women?

I found out for myself many years ago that there is truth to this. Once I allowed myself to do "enough" and not care so much, I have found almost an inner peace - and I am more successful than I think I've ever been. I have counseled some of my female leaders to find a way to stop over-committing and over-caring. It is definitely a difficult thing to do! But, I do believe they will be happier and even more productive, in a way, if they can do this.

Thank you both so much for speaking up. Especially value any agreement from someone sharing my family nickname (not you, Molly ;-) !

Self-deluded souls reporting to enablers seem doomed, in my regretful opinion. Perhaps subsequent psychiatric treatment after their breakdown will help if first reading this short expose does not break the self-destructive habit. BTW, manipulative men are apt to exploit this female weakness, taking credit for the unauthorized value received while punishing the benefactor when more convenient.

Let all women who agree say so HERE. Molly gives wonderful advice. Please share this with all who suffer, in order to slay this dragon! Maybe even a few intelligent men could learn something new, too.

I believe it is in our female nature to be the "gatherers". Hence we find more and more things to get done. However, we have choices to make and I believe the focus should be on learning to make the choice to do the work which will bring the most reward first, then if there is time complete the "nice to have" tasks.

There is a saying to the effect "just because you do something well, doesn't mean you should do it." You could be wasting time even if you accomplish a task well. Choosing the best tasks will bring greater reward and recognition. And balancing your work and personal lives will keep you from becoming resentful. This applies to both men and women.

Interesting point about the overcommitted woman reporting to the overcommitted woman - I'm thinking "Devil Wears Prada" example, if you can't change the devil, move on for your own sake!

Cogent observations, Karen! The debate between nature and nurture is endless, but we each have our own particular responses to stimuli. Can't change them unless we understand them.

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