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07/31/2019

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OK, being one of those "some who might disagree" about committing the classic compounding sin, I'll explain my retort.

When portly (cough!) rotund Oliver complains that skinny Stan got "more" pie because Stan's pie constituted a larger percentage of Stan's body weight, I notify Oliver that:

(a) the absolute size/weight of his pie slice greatly exceeded that of than skinny Stan's slice because his portion was computed as a ratio of his more massive weight;

(b) he still got a lot more of the pie than Stan, who remains near starvation while obese Oliver should really cut back on caloric intake;

(c) if Oliver considers it more important to get a slice whose size has a higher relative relationship to his existing weight than to receive his absolutely larger pie slice, he merely needs to diet until his weight is less than skinny Stan's so his absolutely smaller pie slice will be relatively equal or slightly larger than Stan's; ... or

(d) ....my preferred option... if the two performed at the same level in jobs of equal value, simply give them the same flat absolute dollars for the same output over this same performance period. Highly paid Oliver will still maintain his grossly imbalanced lead over barely above minimum entry-level-paid Stan... whose absolute merit is actually superior now because he matched old pro Oliver in performance without veteran Oliver's experience and accrued wealth from past years.

Had to stop talking about pie, because I was getting hungry.

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