Cafe Classic: It Really Is the Thought (and Effort) that Counts

Editor's Note:  A good time for Classic advice on giving ... both the tangible gifts of the season and the gifts of showing our gratitude for the work and efforts of others.  Thank you, Derek Irvine!

'Tis the season of gift giving and, for some, anxiety over the choosing of those gifts. That’s particularly fraught in the workplace. Do I give a gift to my close friend at work? How would that be perceived? What about giving gifts to everyone on the team? How about the boss? Can I give a token holiday gift or would that be perceived badly by others? Do we give the boss a gift from the team? What if the boss doesn’t give us a gift, and we’ve now made her feel awkward?

To whom can we look to relieve the anxiety? Scientists, of course! This advice from Arthur C. Brooks helps overcome the anxiety of gifting by reminding us just why we give gifts in the first place – because we care about others.

Brooks’ advice boils down to three points, which I’m adapting for the workplace and what I know best – the gift of gratitude.

1. The best gifts are intrinsically valuable – Cash and utilitarian gifts (vacuums, socks) don’t meet the human need for emotional connection we gain through experiences with others.
2. Give what means most to you – Brooks lets re-gifters off the hook. Re-gifting is good if you are re-gifting something you find valuable in the first place.
3. Go the extra step – Wrap your gifts nicely. Even a terrible gift is redeemed somewhat when the effort is given to wrap it well.

The thought given and the effort expended both count for good gift giving. The same is true for giving good messages of gratitude. In line with the tips above:

1. Think about the experiences you’ve shared together. Recall and express the meaning and impact of those experiences on you, the team, and the company.
2. Gratitude is the true gift that keeps on giving. A client of ours once told me, “‘I see somebody doing great. It makes me feel good. So I recognize them for their work, and that makes them feel great. And then they send me a ‘thank you’ for thanking them and recognizing them. Then I feel great all over again.” Set a positivity loop among your colleagues by simply saying “thanks.”
3. How do you wrap gratitude? In specifics – don’t stop at merely saying “Thank you.” Go the extra step to specifically express what your grateful for, how that affected you, when this occurred, and the impact the recipient of your gratitude has had on you.

This holiday season, give the gift that’s appropriate in every workplace, for every person – sincere, personal, meaningful, and specific expressions of gratitude to others.

To whom can you give your gratitude today?

As Globoforce’s Executive Vice President of Client Strategy and Consulting, Derek Irvine is an internationally minded management professional with over 20 years of experience helping global companies set a higher ambition for global strategic employee recognition, leading workshops, strategy meetings and industry sessions around the world. He is a leader in the WorkHumanmovement and the co-author of "The Power of Thanks" and his articles on fostering and managing a culture of appreciation through strategic recognition have been published in Businessweek, Workspan and HR Management. Derek splits his time between Dublin and Boston. Follow Derek on Twitter at @DerekIrvine.